Your very own guide to writing your vows
So you’ve decided to write your own vows… now what?? We’ve put together this short vow writing guide to help you write your own!
Setting expectations for writing your vows
Get on the same [vow book] page
○ Before beginning, be sure to determine formality, length, and content type
○ Consider how long before your wedding you will begin to prepare your vows. We recommend having them complete at least 2 weeks before your date – things get hectic!
○ Evaluate the pro’s and con’s of writing them together or separately. Will they be identical or different?
○ Discuss whether or not you will share them before your wedding or if they’ll be kept a surprise until they’re read during the ceremony (keeping it a surprise will invoke a greater emotional impact during the ceremony!)
○ Set aside time both individually and together to reflect on your relationship and the kind of promises you want to make
○ Then set aside time to write and revise your drafts. Multiple drafts are a good thing!
○Decide if you’ll write a little set of personal vows to read in addition to the traditional “in sickness and health” vows or if you’ll just read your handwritten vows
Either way, remember – your wedding isn’t legal without the “I Do’s”! Wondering what needs to happen during your ceremony? We’ve got you covered!
Drafting your promises
Remember in school when you were supposed to write an outline before the paper? This is the time to actually do it
○ Now is not the best time for spontaneity on the morning of the wedding- you’re making promises for the rest of your life. Make time to really consider your vows and take it seriously!
○ Think about your relationship. What do you value currently? What would you like to improve upon?
○ Include details about a special moment – romantic or funny, a first date or the first time you met – that will give your guests a peek into your story
○ Seek to make promises to one another that are realistic and attainable for you personally. Polarizing words like ‘always/never’ are difficult to attain.
○ Leave notes for yourself like where to pause, where to emphasize, etc.
Need some inspiration? Check out these 20 famous vows from movies and TV!
The week of the wedding
More special than a pinky promise
○ Make any last-minute changes or additions
○ Will someone review/critique them? It can be hard to see mistakes when you’re re-reading for the 23rd time. Have a friend, family member, or even your officiant review them!
Thinking of having a loved one officiate your wedding but aren’t sure how? Take a look at our post on just that!
○ Check for grammar problems and be sure your vows have a good flow
○ Practice reading them aloud – more than once. This ensures you won’t go too fast or mumble through any surprise tongue-twisters. We promise Grandma wants to hear your vows!
○ Write out your [previously drafted!!] vows on nice paper or in a vow book for a keepsake
○ After the wedding, store them in a safe place or memory box to re-read on anniversaries! Make sure it’s cool, dry, and dark so they don’t disintegrate.